Let’s talk about narcissistic mothers and the silent treatment. This mom and the narcissistic mother-in-law share many forms of emotionally abusive ammo in their arsenals.
One way these narcissists seek to gain power and control over you is to give you the silent treatment when you do not respond to her in the ways she would prefer you to. She completely ignores you out of contempt or disapproval for something you have done, which probably wasn’t even a bad thing, just not something she wanted you to do.
Having a narcissistic parent or narcissistic mother-in-law, you know she can be rather extreme in her punishments. When giving you the silent treatment, she may refuse to speak to you or even acknowledge you for a considerable amount of time.
Days, weeks, months, or maybe even years may pass while she punishes you. Unless you are the one to apologize, she may never stop.
As you know, she won’t be the one to apologize to you for anything, as she believes that she can do no wrong and therefore has nothing to be sorry about.
By treating you this way, she demands an apology from you in an emotionally abusive way. It allows her to further inflate her view of herself.
A narcissistic mother is offended that not all people around her will defer to her and give her the attention she desperately craves. So she punishes them, and makes you feel as if you are nothing is just about as harsh as it can get without actually being physical.
This passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse is a common tactic for many narcissistic parents. Her nonverbal actions and gestures are her way of showing you she is displeased or disapproving of something you have done that doesn’t fit into her M.O. She has no real emotional regulation and knows how to make you feel unvalued and unimportant, in her eyes at least.
When mostly healthy minded people give others the silent treatment, it is usually resolved or blown over in a few moments, maybe hours, ideally after saying they need a break from the topic and mutually agreeing when to talk about it again.
Non-narcissists know shunning someone is not the way to resolve issues. It is abusive and cruel to perform such an act for an extended amount of time.
A narcissistic mother does not see it in the same way others do. All she wants is to get her way no matter what the cost is to others.
Sometimes, the only thing you can do when you have a narcissistic mother or narcissistic mother-in-law is accept the fact that she isn’t going to change, and then move on. Many readers of this blog have expressed their eventual ability to emotionally detach if not physically remove themselves from a narcissist mom’s or narcissistic mother-in-law’s tactics.
If she wants to treat you with such disrespect by blatantly ignoring you and pretending you don’t exist, then maybe you need to let that happen. If you are the one who constantly has to apologize for things you may or may not have done, it can be exhausting. You do not have to walk around on pins and needles with her, always in fear of stepping out of line.
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