What I Wanted From My Narcissistic Parent

by Michelle Piper

Readers often say what they wanted from their narcissistic parent and what they are now giving to themselves.

Here’s a summary which eventually may grow into a bill of rights for children of narcissistic parents:

I wanted…

To be heard.

To be seen for who I really was.

To be loved even though I was imperfect.

To be accepted.

To be happy.

To not be undermined.

To be treated with respect.

To be irreplaceable.

To not be used up.

And I deserve…

Inner peace.

Safety, emotionally and physically.

Low to no drama.

A place and people around which I can grow and thrive.

And I will…

Be heard.

Be seen for who I really am.

Be loved even though I’m imperfect.

Be accepted.

Be happy.

Not be undermined.

Be treated with respect.

Be irreplaceable.

Not be used up.

I will make sure to give that to myself and protect it.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Ravyn November 26, 2012 at 1:23 pm

To be hugged for no reason – other than the fact I was your child.

To be GENUINELY commended for my accomplishments.

ITo be guided.

To be genuinely loved.


Michelle Piper December 1, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Thank you for these, Ravyn, they’re a great addition to the post!


Roger January 14, 2013 at 1:30 pm

One thing I have come to realize is that I was never really happy when I was younger, especially at home, though I had no real idea why. Now that I realize I have a NM, it all makes sense. I was scared. I was scared to go home and face my NM and had no idea what to expect every time I walked in the door. I didn’t really matter to her and I think the only reason she wanted me around was to cater to her. I didn’t feel important ever and I never came first. It hurt so much.


Anonymous August 31, 2014 at 1:18 pm

Yes! Thank you.


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