Why is it such a relief when someone else “gets” how crazy our childhood was with a maternal narcissist?
Because, as children, we were terrified and alone at a vulnerable time. Before we’re 18, our brains were still developing, our perceptions of self and the world were greatly affected by others, especially our narcissistic mother.
Our sense of a separate self, unique and valuable was still forming and we fought to survive and stay sane.
When someone else can put words to the silent terror we experienced when we realized on some level that we were going to have to go it alone much more than many our same age, well, it’s a relief. We can tolerate the pain because:
Someone who cares, knows our true reality.
Someone is a witness.
Someone can, for at least a short time, capture the often non verbal experience of aloneness.
And, sometimes through this blog, it feels good to see the truth captive on the page in black and white.
When this happens, when another sees the truth of your experience, you might just have found someone who could be part of your trusted support network.
But remember, trust is earned. As a child with a narcissistic mother, it was taken, or given away. It wasn’t supposed to be that way. But you trusted the adults around you for a time.
That’s ok, it is what a child does. But now, as an adult you can choose people and experiences which are truly protective of your unique and valuable perfectly imperfect being.